Krust. (antikrust) wrote,

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Get yourself an education.

I had a really good talk with Jenny tonight.
At least I think it was good.
I actually teared up a bit.
We talked about the holidays, school, loves, losses.
It was good. I needed it.

I realized that there is wayyyy too much I want to with my life, and not enough time to do it.
Mostly becuase, I haven't started to do any of it.
I have alot in the works right now.
Jenny got me thinking. But, like the really good thinking.
She made me really want to try to some of the things I want to do, And actually made me believe I CAN.
I know me, and I know I lack motivation, and ambition.
I just need people to believe in me. Maybe I am just THAT dependent.
As of now... I am going to do the Manicuring and Esthetician thing.
I want to try to work on getting some of my G.E. credits, via community college, by online courses, most likely.
I need to educate myself. I am not an intellegant person, like book-smart-wise, and I hate that.
One of the things I admire about certain people is the way they talk and carry on a conversation, I believe that alot of that comes from the type of education you have.
I intend on improving my level of intellegence.
I am currently re-thinking Cosmetology school, as a whole. (This could change)
I am goig to look into Fashion school, again.
And eventually I really want to obtain a Bachelor's Degree, and do some Counseling work.
How is it that I have been out of High School, and I swore I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and suddenly I want to about 8 different ythings with it?
Shit, I am brilliant.

We talked about the upcoming holiday season, or apparently the current holiday season.
We both have similar issues with this time of year.
I LOVE it. But, it might be a hard one, again.
My Mother's Birthday is this Monday.
After that Thanksgiving, holiday shopping, Christmas....
And, I know I spent last Christmas without her, but now that it has been almost a year, it feels different.
I'm rather apprehensive for the upcoming weeks.
I am trying to remain optimistic, however.

The Baby will be here in the next few weeks, and I am beyond anxious.
I am ridiculously excited at this point.
I want to be able to spend as much time with him, and Lo, before they move to Pleasanton.
Lord knows visits will probably be fewer and farther between on both ends.
But, luckily, we all love to travel and take mini road trips, every now and again.
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